Wednesday, June 2, 2010

When life gives you lemons....

You throw them at the lady who works at Old Navy.

It was already a hectic morning. As soon as we got to story time at the library, (late of course), the dude wanted to escape. He stood at the glass door and whined, while all of the other kiddos sat in their mother or father's laps with their hands perfectly folded not making a peep. Okay, I exaggerate a bit, but compared to the dude, this is what it seemed like.
When story time was over, I let him roam the kids area, which is usually a good time for all. Until he spots the book cart. The kid LIVES to push things around, and he can do it forever. The problem with this book cart, was that it was filled with books, and the librarian was restocking the shelves. I tried to distract him with other things, but on came meltdown number 2. Meltdowns aren't fun no matter what, but when you're 7 months preggers, they're NOT a good time.
Off to target to find swim trunks for the man, and of course not one pair available in his size.
Next, the whiny crab and I "walk" to Old Navy. A five minute walk turns into 20. I'll spare you the details.
When we arrive, I put him in one of those bizarre carts that they have, and the whining continues. I dig through my purse to find the ipod which has all of his videos on it-success. It makes him happy. Yes, I have become the parent I swore I wouldn't become-giving your child an electronic to pacify him. Now, I want to buy every gadget on the planet to store in my purse for these "just in case" moments.
We finally make it to the little dude's section when he starts eating the ipod. He is well aware that this is a no-no, and when I communicate that to him, he throws it out of the stroller-the attachable speaker detaches, brakes in several pieces, and his whining gets louder.
THIS is when Ms. Old Navy with her stupid microphone Janet Jackson unnecessary headpiece decides to come over and ask if we are finding everything okay.
REALLY??!!!!!! You see a mother picking tiny plastic pieces up off the floor, trying to give life back to the i pod, while her kid is losing his marbles and you ask if we are finding everything okay?? I couldn't even look at her, because I was afraid that if I made eye contact I would be asking the dear Lord for forgiveness until Addison got his driver's license.
I just gave a curt "yes", and hoped she'd catch my drift.
NOPE. Ms. mush for brains decided to stand there and say to Add, "what's wrong?", which only made him cry harder, and my blood boil faster. What the heck do you think is wrong???
Is this what they teach you in corporate training? That when there's dozens of other customers in the store that you should just irritate the you know what out of a pregnant mother with a screaming child?
The WORST part of it all was that even after all that, I could see her out of the corner of my eye (still avoiding eye contact here), that she was just STANDING THERE WATCHING US!!!!
That was it, Lord grant me patience, because I have to look at this woman, I have to communicate that this is NOT okay, and I promise to do it non-verbally.
So, I slowly turn my head, and look at her dead in the eye-well the creepy retail smile didn't go anywhere, but she did walk away, and I thought of 72899935 things I would like to scream at her, but I bit my tongue. Hard.

And this was all before noon.


Sparrow's Nest said...

I'm sorry to laugh at your pain...but, that was hilarious! Hopefully, the afternoon will be better, and the Old Navy broad will have learned her lesson!

Jenni said...

oh my goodness, you poor thing!!!!I hope your day gets better!

Casa Bella said...

Man, you are a fantastic writer. I LOVE coming to your site and reading your posts. I'm sorry you had a heck of a morning, but it was just hilarious to read it.

Ah...the good Old Navy personnel...always ready to help when we don't need them. When you do need them, they're nowhere to be seen. Go figure. Hope your afternoon goes better, darling.

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vwiese said...

please write a book about all of this. I want to read it all day :) Sorry that I get pleasure out of your pain :)

Casa Bella said...


You can find those desk chairs on my blog at
I love the fun new stuff they bring all the time (and the shoes, my gosh the shoes!) Those chairs are one of my faves. I am actually getting a pair of the pink ones for my home office. Have a great day, doll.

mindy said...

oh my...i applaud for even making it to old navy after the morning you had! i hope the rest of your day was better, dear friend.