I would like to take a moment and warn the people in Kansas City that the Grinch has changed his image.
No longer does he resemble the Dr.Seuss character.
The Jim Carey Grinch no longer exists.
This grinch, the NEW grinch of 2010, is about 5"10, dark hair, and disguises himself as the owner of a "hip rock and roll barber shop".
Allow me to take you through my morning with this Mr. Grinch.
I had been to this establishment once before. This is where my son Addison had his first haircut.
See here. The gal who cut his hair was wonderful, patient, and made him look like a rock star.
Add was in major need of cut #2, so I decided to buck up, and take the kiddos by myself, knowing that it was going to be rough. I came up with a good system that would make things as easy as possible--I was going to put Frankie in the Bjorn so that I could still have my hands free to hold Addison down in the chair. Off we went with our plan, and mommy praying the whole way there that this wouldn't make me drive to the nearest bar right after.
We got there about 15 minutes early, which I patted myself on the back about. Better that being late, right? Not so much, as our gal was running behind. I pulled out all the tricks for Add, cell phone, keys, snacks, etc. Although he wasn't throwing any tantrums, he was definitely getting whiny, or "angry", as this idiot waiting for his metro sexual hair to be cut had said.
Finally, she was ready for us, and we went back to her chair....this is when the crying began. I got him to sit down, and 30 seconds later, the GRINCH OWNER comes over and says, "yeah, so here's the deal....." I knew where this was going, and I could NOT believe that this was how he was addressing me.
The GRINCH OWNER continues...." so, I have a customer in my chair who is getting a shave"....I just stared at him and waited for the rest of this riveting speech he was giving. "....and well, he is paying for it, and......" he looks at addison..." so, you know"......
I knew that in that moment, if I were to open my mouth, the cops were going to be called.
The blood rushed to my head in 2.5 seconds, and I had visions of taking that razor from his hands, and cutting HIS 1992 hairstyle.
I grabbed Addison, and headed to the front, shaking with r-a-g-e. I started putting his coat on, and I could NO LONGER be quiet. The next 30 seconds or so went like this as the sweet stylist who had nothing to do with this followed me to the front saying how sorry she was:
me (as loud as possible): does he have kids?
me: (even louder) he has NO idea....this is NOT how you run a business, kicking a mother OUT with her 2 kids when i had been here for 20 minutes already WAITING. WHY on earth does he advertise children's haircuts? i had no idea this was a SPA for men, give me a break!!
then I said something lame about having a nice Christmas, and slammed the door.
I then called a friend of mine who USED to go there, and he informed me that this grinch was once on the BACHELOR!! Yes, he is one of THOSE guys.
I was seriously wanting to drive to the florist in the area, and buy a dozen red roses, and throw them at him one by one.
I am now calm, collected, and didn't even have to drive to the bar....but if this Grinch ever finds a woman to put up with his ridiculousness, and he finds some way to convince her to have his child, I sure hope that when his kid turns two and cries because he or she doesn't want to do something that seems scary, well, I sure hope he remembers the mother of two that he kicked out of his lame men's spa.